And now, I present to you, one of the most entertaining emails I've ever received:

Winona! I am on a quest!

*Dramatic shot of the earth, ancient Mesopotamia*

For thousands of years, all humans have searched and scoured the globe...there is one thing they all want...

The fountain of youth?

NO.

A pair of comfortable pumps for the office.

Archaeologist talking:

"Ever since the beginning of history, we have seen evidence of such a things existence. For, example, in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, we have seen pictures of what evidently seems to be a platform heel, with this light symbol around it...what was called in Egypt, The Great Heel of Thoth. It was sacredly worshiped."

Okay, Winona, I think you get the point. I'm a geeky girl and I've never really had a need for heels..before.. but now I've got a new job in a..*gasp* office environment. Is there such a thing as the coveted, treasured comfortable heels so that my quest to the water cooler isn't painful?

If you help me, I'll give you Patrick Stewart. (yes, he's been locked in my basement for about 10 years)

Love,
Trekkie girl

Dear Trekkie,

I have to admit that I would be more enthused to answer your query if your hostage trade involved Commander Riker (I could never resist his steely gaze and immaculately groomed deep space goatee), but whatever.

What ten-year-old girl could resist?

Back to the task at hand (or....foot?). Here are some things to look for in your quest for a comfortable high heel:

• Thick heel (very trendy right now, so there are tons of cute options in stores)
• Padded footbed (or "mushy insides" if you only speak Kindergarten Teacher)
  
• Slightly flexible materials
• The decrepit shack of a voodoo witch doctor with a sign hanging out front that says "Specializing in comfortable heels"

Way back when, I sang the praises of NeoNaturalizer, the shoe brand that I would totally be my best friend if it were a human. See, NeoNaturalizer is like the chubby kid in your second grade class who wore glasses and hand-me-down Power Rangers t-shirts--they grew up with something to prove, so now they're fun and funny and generous. In contrast, if a Jimmy Choo shoe were a human, he would have starred in a Welches Grape Juice commercial in second grade and enjoyed a life of steady good looks and popularity. He wouldn't have grown up to be super interesting because he never had to be and if you said "Hey Jimmy, you're hurting my feet," he'd probably say something smug like, "Yeah, but I look damn good," and you would just put up with the pain because he's right.

What I'm trying to say is: Naturalizer now makes shoes that are comfy and cute. Behold:

Top: "Fentress," $35 on sale; above: "Mager" (What's up with these names?), $79, naturalizer.com

Totally sassy and cute, right? Now, usually these heels would be way too high and skinny to maintain any semblance of comfort, but NeoNaturalizer is a special case. I hear they keep a voodoo witch doctor on staff.

Speaking of special cases, Aerosoles could also join NeoNaturalizer and me in our clique of former chubby kids (how's this metaphor doing? Hanging on?). Their website is chock full of comfy/cute finds like these:

I love the little details of this style--from the button to the textured sole to the unique colors, they're...how should I put this?...mega badass.
Aerosoles "Cover Charge" Mary Jane, $63 (sale lasts til August 18th), aerosoles.com

Cole Haan's line of classy pumps with magical Nike Air insoles are also an option, although they're pretty spendy and may have an unsettling side effect:

Top: Cole Haan "Fiona" Air High Pump, $215; Above: Cole Haan "Jena" Air High Pump, $279, both from zappos.com

And here's my last, but certainly not least, example:

Thick heel and padded footbed + chic patent leather and rounded toe = THE GLEAMING MESSIAH OF COMFORTABLE SHOES. Seriously, I'm not even being dramatic (I never am). Could these shoes get any cuter? Pair 'em with any number of hosiery options, a flippy skirt and a blazer and you could look fabulous at work and seduce Commander Riker. Hott.
Franco Sarto "Nap" Pump, $78.95, nordstrom.com

So what about you, fabulous, well-dressed reader? You were so immensely helpful with this query that I thought I'd ask again: What kind of shoes do you wear to the office? Do you have a favorite brand for comfy high heels? Any voodoo witch doctors in the audience tonight?